So before I left for Chicago, I wrote about how to have spring break like an adult. Now that I’m back, I’m going to expand on these steps:
1) Arrive at the train station with ONE MINUTE to spare. Seriously, that happened. Ps. Running + flip flops = not happening.
2) If you have to choose between 30 boy scouts OR loud men talking on their phone the ENTIRE time to ride the train with, choose the 30 boy scouts. Trust me, their actually quieter.
3) Have hotel overbook, and to make up for their mistake, have them put you in a suite AND give you a complimentary $50 voucher for “food”. Food = bar, in this case.
4) Pregame at the hotel bar with the free $50 voucher.
5) Proceed to drink at the House of Blues, and other various bars/clubs.
6) Get drunk enough to make out with a guy, especially if he’s British asks for a “St. Patrick’s Day kiss”. But mainly because he’s British.
7) Get even more drunk so that you move on to the next club and proceed to make out with a bald guy but not remember it. I guess technically I could say that doesn’t count, but I don’t play that game. If my friend says it happened, it happened.
8) Proceed to get kicked out of the club for making out with said bald guy in front of the bar.
9) Be so drunk that you barely remember the bus ride back to the hotel. Oh, and make sure you’re taking that bus with your friend. Have older gentleman ask if the two of you need help because you look to be the same age as his 16 year old daughter.
10) Arrive back at hotel with friend and order room service. Pass the fuck out.
And that was just Saturday.